How to find a person approach?

Have you noticed that the same people behave differently with their interlocutors? When you asked the chief for a day off from work, he angrily waved his hand and pointed to the corner of the table, hinting at the official paper on this occasion. A colleague who urgently needed to “visit his grandmother in Uryupinsk”, without much effort, got his time off without bureaucratic delays in a minute while communicating with the same boss. How so? Or this option: ask the seller in the supermarket where to find a plunger for your bathroom, what he does is indifferently waving towards the department with household goods, hinting to look somewhere there. And with another buyer is incredibly friendly and even go through the entire store to help with finding the right product.

You can answer: yes, I'm just an unlucky person. Or unattractive. But is it? Remember: everything is in our hands, learn to find an approach to the interlocutor, and for this you should learn how to understand people.
How to find a person approach?

If you want to be successful, be the center of attention among friends and colleagues at work,conquer sympathies among the opposite sex, learn to find an individual approach to people with different types of character, life and moral principles. In the future, you will definitely feel confident and that communication can be enjoyable and useful.

Psychology and technology of everyday communication

What happens at the first moment of communication between friends and strangers? You meet a person with eyes, an exchange of views begins. The glance determines a lot, it is not without reason that such expressions as “at first glance it became clear”, “love at first glance”, “disliked at first glance” are commonplace. If a person is open to communication, a glance without words will convey to the interlocutor his intentions and good messages. If a person avoids a direct look, it causes suspicion, serious distrust, or even antipathy on the part of communication partners.

If we want to find an approach to a person, watch your eyes. Do not during the conversation constantly look away, long look at your hands or look over the shoulder of the interlocutor. It may give the impression that a person is hiding something or keeping back.
How to find a person approach?

After the exchange of views, the interlocutor will surely “appreciate” you visually: how you move, your posture and gestures. If you keep yourself free and uninhibited (not to be confused with the untied), all your gestures speak of your confidence (you have a straight back, body and arms are turned towards the interlocutor) and goodwill, then the interlocutor is given a sense of calmness, and adjusts to a positive wave

  • Learn and remember the name of the person with whom you are to meet, since own name for a person is a very significant and important word.
  • Smile as often as you can, as a smile creates an atmosphere of happiness, goodwill and respect. A kind and sincere smile will create a sense of calm and relaxation in the interlocutor and will arouse sympathy towards you.
  • Show a genuine interest in the interlocutor and to the problems that concern him. Perhaps it is this person with whom you are talking now that will turn out to be a really interesting and extraordinary person. Therefore, show your interest, starting with a greeting.
  • Do not forget to congratulate friends, colleagues and acquaintances happy birthday.Have you noticed that a few days before the birth there is a feeling of anxiety? At an unconscious level, we worry if friends and colleagues will remember about this date. And if so, this greeting will bring great joy.
  • Try to be a good listener, give an opportunity to talk about yourself, because sincere attention is a great way to put a person to yourself.

    Ask the correct questions, answering to which the interlocutor will not feel awkward and will gladly answer them.

  • During the conversation clearly understand what interests and desires capture the interlocutor, what he values ​​in life, and support the conversation on these topics. If you are an attentive interlocutor, then you can easily find common ground with your interlocutor. Perhaps you have common views on certain things, there was a similar experience in business, similar plans are similar. The more similarities and points of contact you find, the easier you will find an approach to the interlocutor in the future.

 What should not be done when communicating with the interlocutor 

If you do not want to perceive the interlocutor negatively, the psychologists advise, during the conversation not to hold your arms crossed on the chest, fingers of the hands to link into the lock and stand with crossed legs.These postures without words say that you are tense and worried. And on the contrary, do not come close to the interlocutor, clap on the shoulder, grab for the hand. The interlocutor can perceive such behavior and gestures for familiarity, an attempt on personal space. At first, try to follow your postures and gestures, and then get rid of these habits, as they impede communication and understanding between the interlocutors.

If during a conversation you find that the topic touched upon by the interlocutor is close to you, it’s your “fad”, and you really want to show off your knowledge and awareness, don’t interrupt him, wait until the interlocutor brings the thought to a logical conclusion, and then express his point of view. You, probably, more than once had to deal with a similar situation, and what negative sediment it leaves.
How to find a person approach?

Trying to find an approach to a person, rarely try to say that he is wrong, do not question his intellectual abilities and views on any things, do not stab his pride. Better an easy smile and approving nods show that you respect the opinion of the interlocutor.

How to find an approach to a person with a complex character

People who do not get along with others, do not tolerate criticism and are easily irritated, see events in life in black and white and are overwhelmed with negative emotions, called “a person with a complex character.” They conflict with relatives, with strangers, or, on the contrary, close and do not go to contact. Often people of this type are dissatisfied with themselves.

To find an approach to a difficult interlocutor, try not to “climb into his soul,” but rather gently ask what happened to him or what upset him. Communicating with people who are constantly in a bad mood will not cause you positive emotions. Any trifle, detail or insulting word can easily spoil their mood or unbalance them.

If a complex and "explosive character" coexists in one person, try to be attentive in your statements.

Are you “lucky” with a boss of such a character? Be moderately polite and affable, careful and executive, but have your own opinion.

How to find an approach to people with different temperaments

You asked yourself the question, why, communicating in a team,Does the same conversation (message, news) cause different reactions in people? Some immediately show a keen interest in the topic, others show complete indifference and indifference. It's very simple: on the face - the features of different temperaments. Let's try to find an approach to people with different types of temperament, using basic data on psychology.


  • Endowed with an impulsive temperament, adores compliments coming from a pure heart, does not tolerate falsehood in words and actions.
  • There was a dispute with choleric? Do not rush to criticize it, and even more so, do not raise the tone - everything will result in a huge scandal. Starting a serious conversation, prepare in advance clear and compelling arguments, at the end of the conversation be sure to thank for the constructive dialogue, and you will have a chance that the choleric person will change his mind and give way to the dispute.

You can also note that choleric people do not like being talked to in a quiet and unintelligible voice, but they love to distribute instructions and advice.

  • Ask the choleric to explain or show how he would do the right thing.


  • It seeks to please everyone and arouse the interest of people around them.
  • Sanguine will not tolerate boredom and indifference, so do not cease to amaze and delight him. If you strive to constantly show interest and curiosity for sanguine hobbies, to be positive and constantly encourage, the reaction will not have to wait long.
  • This type of temperament is characterized by lack of organization and lack of discipline, therefore, try to check joint plans (scheduled meetings), but delicately.

How to find a person approach?

Phlegmatic person

  • This type of sluggish in nature, can not quickly act or make decisions.
  • Phlegmatic secretive emotionally and stingy on the expression of feelings, but if you want to find an approach to a person with this type of character, learn from the level of intuition to recognize his feelings.
  • Phlegmatic often underestimate their abilities and capabilities, so believe in them and help to overcome doubts in their abilities and complexes.


In nine out of ten cases, the melancholic will refuse to go for a walk, a hike or a cultural event.

  • He loves solitude and noisy company will prefer a quiet evening together in a quiet home environment.
  • Melancholic and punctuality are incompatible things, for him time flows differently than in other people. Therefore, if you made a date, or a meeting, get ready for what will need to wait.

Remember: there are not so complicated people that it is impossible to “see through” them and find an approach. The main thing - to want! And consider the above tips.

Date: 10.10.2018, 18:57 / Views: 45451

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